Friday, September 24, 2010

The Evil Milk Powder Company saga continues.

A while ago, I received a brochure from Evil Milk Powder Company. When I opened it, I found my name printed in it to make it look like the mailer was custom made just for me.

It said: Dear Ky, we noticed that you logged onto our website recently (emphasis mine). We hope you found the information that you required. If not, feel free to call us for guidance.

It went on to give babycare tips, stating that, as a Capricorn baby, the Babycrat "needs to feel secure with regular meals and life on a fairly routine schedule to help them settled (sic)" [Other babies need to feel insecure? And they prefer to be fed irregularly?]

It continued: "Capricorn babies are quite contented as long as the practical things are taken care of by mom and dad in relation to their well being." [Don't other babies feel contented if mom and dad take care of their well-being? Those ungrateful wretches.] They are serious little people for their age, practical and concerned with what is real and what is not, so encourage them to take responsibility. ['Babycrat! Who did this doo doo on the living room floor? Take responsibility!'] Remember, Capricorn babies go by the book when setting limits."

Then the brochure concluded with: "Good news! There are 11 other Mummies living in the same neighbourhood as you. Get in touch with them and share your experiences at our forum."

Big Brother is not only watching me. It is listening to my phone conversations, tracking my e-mail, keeping tabs on my IP address and very likely to have someone tailing me round the clock.

A friend in Melbourne told me her town council arranges meet-ups for all Mummies who had given birth around the same period of time so they could get to know one another, network and form playgroups for their babies.

I lamented the lack of such a service in Singapore when the Resident Bureaucrat pointed out that all I had to do was to contact Evil Milk Powder Company.

"They know it all, don't they? They know even more than the Government," he said.

Indeed. Census 2010, you could take a leaf from Evil Milk Powder Company's book.

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