Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Once, when Ms C posted a question on facebook asking whether people would drink their own breast milk, I had responded that drinking your own breast milk is like spitting out your own saliva and then drinking it up again.

I never thought the day would come when I would drink my own breast milk. But it did.

I had gone for lunch with some colleagues and had taken the Babycrat along. I knew the baby was going to want a feed during my lunch, and while I was too shy to feed him in front of my colleagues, I didn't want to leave the table to feed him either. So I brought along a bottle of expressed milk which I intended to warm up by sitting the bottle in hot water, which I would ask for from the waiter.

Unfortunately, the well-meaning waiter misinterpreted my request and while I was distracted by something, he took away my bottle of milk and topped it up with hot water.

When he returned the bottle to me, I was devastated to find what was originally 120ml of milk is now 150ml of diluted milk.

The Babycrat refused to drink it, of course.

The thought of dumping the entire bottle of milk just about killed me. My colleagues started giving suggestions on what I could do with it, including adding it to a cup of teh-c, which I thought wasn't such a bad idea. The milk was, after all, supposed to be super nutritious.

Unfortunately, by the time I got home, the milk had taken on a strange smell. I went on the internet and found that the smell was caused by the enzymes in the milk breaking down the milk fats, causing a smell euphemistically described as "soapy".
I thought it was closer to what I would describe as "vomit".

However, milk that had taken on this smell is not spoilt and is perfectly safe to drink, said the websites. So I made a cup of tea and poured half the milk in. (I wasn't brave enough to drink the milk on its own.)

Unfortunately, the taste of the milk was so strong, it overpowered the taste of the tea. I had to force myself to drink the vomit-ty tasting tea.

I left half a bottle for the Resident Bureaucrat to sample as well, and he, the braver one, drank it neat. His verdict?

"Tastes like vomit plus stale sweat."

So, this is the end of a failed experiment. Maybe someday, when I'm feeling braver, I will try the milk again - and this time, I will make sure it's freshly squeezed.

No comments: