Thursday, May 21, 2009

One time, many years ago, the Resident Bureaucrat tried to give me refresher driving lessons. There was plenty of screaming in the car that day - shrieks of panic from me, yells of terror from him.

I insist he has only himself to blame for foolishly taking me on a route that involved a need to filter right in an extremely busy road with speeding lorries and buses, and a traffic light stop on a semi-steep upslope (and me at the wheel of a manual car).

The driving lesson culminated with me scraping the car against the gate of his parents' house while trying to reverse in, and him frantically banging the bonnet of the car trying to draw my attention and get me to stop.

He never tried to teach me driving again.

My problem is of course not with operating the car; my problem is other cars on the road. If there were no other cars on the road for example, who's going to come and crash into me if I anyhow changed lanes? Or will it matter if my car slides backwards after a failed slope control?

It's a safe bet to say that my roadworthiness is pretty close to zero.

Recently, when I felt that I wanted to pick up driving again, the Resident Bureaucrat sensibly told me to go and enroll in a driving school rather than look to him for help.

So I went and checked out the driving school, hoping that the refresher course would teach stuff like:
*how to avoid running over pedestrians
*This is not your grandfudder's road: other drivers count too
*swerving recklessly is not a good idea

Unfortunately, it taught only the boring regular stuff like pre-operative procedures and functions of each car control (har?) and important rules and regulations of highway driving. Nonetheless, I signed up for lessons anyway.

At my first lesson, my instructor looked at my driving licence, and said: You got your licence in 1996! Have you driven ever since?
Me: No.
Him: It's ok, never mind. Later, we'll go on the highway.

This does not bode well.

True to his words, he really took me onto the highway, but I gathered all my wits around me and managed to stay alive all the way there, on it and all the way back by crawling in the left lane and constantly asking questions like: "You want me to change lane ah? Now? Can? Can or not? Now can? Can??"

So my road kill now stands at zero, but be warned, I have another lesson coming up soon.


Anonymous said...

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peanut butter wolf said...

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