Tuesday, February 03, 2009

For want of something better to post, here are 25 random things about me:

1. When I'm walking and people in front of me move slowly and block my way, I want to push them aside.

2. I like lying on the floor. If I had my way, I would be sleeping on a futon on a platform instead of a regular boring four-legged bed. I also like leaving stuff on the floor; the space next to my bed has piles of books, magazines and newspapers casually dropped down after being read in bed. The floor is my big storage shelf. (I am really messy, by the way.)

3. I am surprised by how many of my friends profess to really be anti-social, but I am sure I am the most anti-social person I know. I am the real deal.

4. I am very sensitive to smells; I insist on breathing in only neutral, odour-free air. I don't like cigarette smoke, strong perfumes and all other smells even if they are pleasant. And during the seventh month, all windows in my house stay shut until the last piece of joss paper has been burnt. Noise annoys me too. I have murderous thoughts about colleagues who play their radio during work without using ear phones.

5. I had great aspirations when I was young. When I was 10, I wanted to write story books like Enid Blyton. I even thought about writing a series of mystery books ala The Famous Five, but set in the estate where I grew up. When I was 12, I knew I wanted to work for the newspapers. At 17, I freelanced for a teenage magazine and wrote about all sorts of relationship issues - when I hadn't even been in a relationship myself. At 32, I'm reduced to compiling events listings.

6. I hate Borders Bookstore. I hate their inept staff, I hate it that no one ever picks up the phone when I call, I hate it that they never have the books I want, I hate it that the only copy of the book that I want is tattered and torn, I hate that all the books on their shelves are in disarray, I hate finding a curry cookbook among humour books, I hate it that I can't even find an email address to send my complaints to. I love Kinokuniya. Even when Borders prints 30% discount vouchers, I still prefer to buy at Kino. That that, Borders!

7. I am not a morning person. If I didn't have to crawl out of bed at the crack of dawn to go to work, I would fall naturally into a pattern of sleeping at 3am and waking up at 11am. That seems to suit me very well; when on a sleep pattern like that, I feel like I almost have supernatural energy in the day and don't need to nap.

8. I am convinced it is evil to force people to come in to work early in the morning, and then force them to sit at their desks for at least 8 hours a day. It goes against all things human and natural and ergonomic.

9. I was the top scorer in my English prelims in school and won a prize of a book by Pramoedya Ananta Toer, which I never read (obviously). I also got the lowest score in a maths exam in Sec 2 with 27/100.

10. When I was 10, I cameod on a Channel 8 children's programme dressed in an Aksi Mat Yoyo cat suit. My role was to educate kids on how to take care of their pets. Two of my friends were on the show with me, one was a big white furry rabbit, the other girl might have been a dog, I think. The directors and producers didn't even know our names. They addressed us as: Cat, Dog and Rabbit, as in, "Cat, you need you learn your lines better."

I got paid like $50 in total - $25 for the rehearsal and $25 for the actual filming.

11. I'm a tech idiot and not ashamed of it. I'm not very sure what an iPhone does and I don't know how to use an iPod. My current handphone, with its 3G capabilities and fancy applications, is severely underused; I use it only to make phone calls and sms.

12. When I travel, foreign currency means nothing to me. What is 12 Quetzal? 360 Baht? 799 yen? No idea, but why think so much? Just spend!

No wonder the Resident Bureaucrat never lets me hold the money.

Also, even after a six-month stay in the US, I cannot tell a dime from a quarter. (I cannot cope with the fact that a 5 cent coin is bigger than a 10 cent coin.) I also have no idea how much a nickel is.

13. I suspect I may be mildly dyslexic and also have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Dis... oh! new mail!

14. I always tell people that I don't want to work, that I just want to stay at home all day and blog. But I recognise that if I don't go to work, I will become so boring that I will have nothing to blog about. So going to the office and prostituting my soul is a necessary evil.

15. I wear my wedding ring only when I'm not with my husband. To me, the sole purpose of a ring is to fend off unwanted attention.

16. The Resident Bureaucrat and I communicate by flinging insults at each other.

17. Sometimes, when walking around with the Resident Bureaucrat, I get bugged by those people who set up stall in shopping malls hawking wedding and bridal gown packages. I've always wanted to try this line on those salesmen: "Shh, not so loud! His wife doesn't know he's out with me!"

18. I am not very girly. I don't like makeup, I don't care about skincare, I don't wear jewellery. I used to like reading women's magazines, but not anymore because they are too touchy-feely, too group-huggy. I never really enjoyed romantic books or movies (I hate Sex and the City movie, by the way. Foolish Carrie. I would have kicked Big in the balls and told him where to go). I don't like being given flowers because it upsets me when they wilt. Pedicures? Give me a good foot massage any day.

19. I once gave a heartfelt but mushy quote to a magazine writer but I insisted she gave me a fake name because I have a reputation to maintain.

20. In JC, I started an informal - and nonsensical - newsletter called the Nanyang Chronicle (no relation to the legitimate paper published by NTU.) It was full of made up news about my classmates and stories that mocked my teachers. It was a hit while it lasted. Sadly, my class graduated and my source of news died.

21. I love walking. I used to walk regularly from Toa Payoh to Serangoon Gardens. Twice, I walked from Toa Payoh to Hougang. It took me an hour and a half. But I hate jogging.

22. I once wrote an angry complaint letter to my town council when their cleaning workers sprayed my front door with water which seeped into my house, and they also left drops of paint that dried up on my front step. In response, the town council turned up with six workers to clean up the mess and two officers to supervise the six workers. That left me feeling so bad, I never wrote another complaint letter.

23. In Primary 5, a classmate sitting behind me kept poking me in the back just to annoy me. In response, I grabbed her social studies textbook and whacked her with it until the pages flew out.

24. I am a first generation Singaporean. My father is from China and my mother, Malaysia.

25. When I was a child, I slipped off the seat of a swing that was going really high, and landed on the ground. The swing came back and hit me squarely on the back of my head. Maybe that explains why I am like this now.

25. I am very long winded. (I also cannot count.)

Extra fact: 26. I first had a crush on Tony Leung when he was Wei Xiaobao in Duke of Mount Deer. But now I know better. I no longer have a crush on him. What I have for him now is true love. And this is not a random fact. There is nothing random about my love for Tony.

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